The Christmas Anthem

Scene: watching Downton Abbey in my living room, eating turkey sandwiches and drinking wine.

Aunty Roaring: "Nigel Havers is all right, isn't he? He'd do for Edith."

Mummy Roaring: "He's no George."

Cue a LOT of shrieking when the Nespresso ad appears.

Mummy Roaring: "Do you think he'll still come and visit me even though you bought me a Lavazza machine for Christmas and not a Nespresso one?"



There's only one place he'll want to be this Christmas, Mother:



Thank you all, and goodnight.

Ain’t about the cha-ching, cha-ching.

I recently bought the Jessie J album. Big mistake. One of those where you’ve heard a couple of good songs - 'Price Tag' and 'Do It Like a Dude' and thought this’ll be fun, only to discover it’s full of ballids (following the new spelling). Worse still, it has the most ear-wrenching earnestness that galls with a self-righteousness and banality ripped off fortune-cookie-wisdom. 'Price Tag' itself has its own 'Where-is-the-Love?' earnestness, but it’s forgivable - if only for the ridiculousness of a pop starlet at the very heart of commercial pop releasing a massive selling single that is ‘not about the money’. You’re laughing all the way to the Itunes store. (Not very far).