Monday, 16 August 2010

Sacramental Insurance


Ramping and Roaring are proud to present an "All New Service" to catholics worried about sacramental dispensation. For just a small monthly fee,* R&R ltd. (TM) offer complete coverage.** Should you be in doubt over sacramental assurance then just phone our hotline and you will be instantly put through to a qualified advisor who will assuage your fears in good faith. In case of grave doubts, online and telephone consecrations will be available, and a substitute sacrament (in the case of baptisms, marriages, ordinations and extreme unctions) will be offered until such a time as yours becomes once again available.

Sign up today and receive a free watch.

* to go towards the rebuilding of a notable London church.
** inc. floods, fires, third parties and acts of God.

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Posted by Ramping at 23:12
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11 comments:

  1. The Bishop of Fulham17 August 2010 at 00:13

    How do I sign up? Where is the link? Thank you for providing such a service at this desperate hour!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bishop of Beverley17 August 2010 at 00:15

    Mary Mother of God be praised. What a gift this is to all who believe in the Blessed Church. Please do forward me details of this great endevor.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bishop of Ebbsfleet17 August 2010 at 00:16

    Oh Sacramental assurance blessed is mine!
    Wonderful. Thank you Roaring and Ramping.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bishop of Richborough17 August 2010 at 00:17

    Joy to the LORD sacramental assurance is mine! Let FIF rejoice!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Right Reverend David Thomas Provincial Assistant Bishop, Church in Wales17 August 2010 at 00:19

    Dyma 'n gyfryw 'n aruthr newydd. Canmol bod at 'n Arglwyddes a 'n Naf Iesu Grist.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Christina Rees17 August 2010 at 00:21

    You bastards! You'll ruin everything! Now all those bloody nutters will want to stay!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Archbishop of Canterbury17 August 2010 at 00:27

    Now, now, lets all calm down. Why don't we all meet over a nice little Indaba.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Archbishop of York17 August 2010 at 00:28

    There he bloody goes again. Bloody liberals. Sod em all.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous17 August 2010 at 11:23

    "Blessed insurance, Jesus is mine. Oh what a foretaste of glory divine."

    I texted in (£1.50 plus standard message rate) and I must say the service I received was second to none: prompt, polite and pious. Thanks so much R&R, you literally laid my fears to rest!

    Just out of interest, could you also discern whether or not an individual has already blasphemed against the Holy Spirit? That's another really nagging doubt.

    ps: The Bishop of Beverley can't spell endeavour.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous27 January 2011 at 18:17

    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  11. product liability insurance29 January 2011 at 04:17

    Sacramental assurance!! its a nice topic to talk about but you didn't provided the contact details its really a great gift to all who believe in the Blessed Church.

    ReplyDelete

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