Monday 16 August 2010

Sacramental Insurance


Ramping and Roaring are proud to present an "All New Service" to catholics worried about sacramental dispensation. For just a small monthly fee,* R&R ltd. (TM) offer complete coverage.** Should you be in doubt over sacramental assurance then just phone our hotline and you will be instantly put through to a qualified advisor who will assuage your fears in good faith. In case of grave doubts, online and telephone consecrations will be available, and a substitute sacrament (in the case of baptisms, marriages, ordinations and extreme unctions) will be offered until such a time as yours becomes once again available.

Sign up today and receive a free watch.

* to go towards the rebuilding of a notable London church.
** inc. floods, fires, third parties and acts of God.

11 comments:

  1. How do I sign up? Where is the link? Thank you for providing such a service at this desperate hour!

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  2. Mary Mother of God be praised. What a gift this is to all who believe in the Blessed Church. Please do forward me details of this great endevor.

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  3. Oh Sacramental assurance blessed is mine!
    Wonderful. Thank you Roaring and Ramping.

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  4. Joy to the LORD sacramental assurance is mine! Let FIF rejoice!

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  5. Dyma 'n gyfryw 'n aruthr newydd. Canmol bod at 'n Arglwyddes a 'n Naf Iesu Grist.

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  6. You bastards! You'll ruin everything! Now all those bloody nutters will want to stay!

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  7. Now, now, lets all calm down. Why don't we all meet over a nice little Indaba.

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  8. There he bloody goes again. Bloody liberals. Sod em all.

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  9. "Blessed insurance, Jesus is mine. Oh what a foretaste of glory divine."

    I texted in (£1.50 plus standard message rate) and I must say the service I received was second to none: prompt, polite and pious. Thanks so much R&R, you literally laid my fears to rest!

    Just out of interest, could you also discern whether or not an individual has already blasphemed against the Holy Spirit? That's another really nagging doubt.

    ps: The Bishop of Beverley can't spell endeavour.

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  10. Sacramental assurance!! its a nice topic to talk about but you didn't provided the contact details its really a great gift to all who believe in the Blessed Church.

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