Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Situations have ended "sad"...


Miley and Dylan. Do you die? I die.

Especially Miley singing freaking DYLAN with the LEAST EMOTION since James Van Der Beek pretended to be sad about Tom Cruise's wife dumping him.

Do you remember Miley doing her sexy Britney pole-dance on an ice-cream cart at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards? (OF COURSE you do.)* This is better. 

I mean, she sings about some hot girl with crimson hair across her face, and it's NOT EVEN SEXY! Amazing. Miley has no idea who Rimbaud is.

But WTF does Dylan care? He thinks it's hot. I want to be like him when I'm seventy, not giving a damn about my back-catalogue, and grinding with Victoria's Secret biatches.

And he's made anyway, cause of Adele. How is anyone still buying that album? Isn't it like a law that every person in the Western world must have owned it by the end of 2011?**

Well, you can't accuse anyone of selling out if it's for charity. Good old Amnesty International. It's all worth it for the prisoners.

*It's the choreography from 'I'm a Slave 4 U', loser. How did you not know that?
**I don't, but I'm a bitch who's totally bored by the New Boring. Also I literally only buy albums (and I am probably the only person left in Britain still buying CDs) that Peter Robinson tells me to.

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