Situations have ended "sad"...

OMG my two FAVOURITE THINGS EVER:



Miley and Dylan. Do you die? I die.

Especially Miley singing freaking DYLAN with the LEAST EMOTION since James Van Der Beek pretended to be sad about Tom Cruise's wife dumping him.

Do you remember Miley doing her sexy Britney pole-dance on an ice-cream cart at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards? (OF COURSE you do.)* This is better. 

I mean, she sings about some hot girl with crimson hair across her face, and it's NOT EVEN SEXY! Amazing. Miley has no idea who Rimbaud is.

But WTF does Dylan care? He thinks it's hot. I want to be like him when I'm seventy, not giving a damn about my back-catalogue, and grinding with Victoria's Secret biatches.




And he's made anyway, cause of Adele. How is anyone still buying that album? Isn't it like a law that every person in the Western world must have owned it by the end of 2011?**

Well, you can't accuse anyone of selling out if it's for charity. Good old Amnesty International. It's all worth it for the prisoners.

*It's the choreography from 'I'm a Slave 4 U', loser. How did you not know that?
**I don't, but I'm a bitch who's totally bored by the New Boring. Also I literally only buy albums (and I am probably the only person left in Britain still buying CDs) that Peter Robinson tells me to.

Advent Anthems: 18

Last night I finally watched Fifteen Million Merits, the second installment of Charlie Brooker's wonderfully depressing series of dystopias. I was very glad I recorded it, because if I had watched it straight after the X-Factor final, I would have been up all night worrying that Little Mix had been sold into porn-slavery. Luckily that never happens in pop.

Anyway, it was rather excellent, with added backstage-authenticity presumably provided by co-writer and Person In her Own Right Konnie Huq.

But even MORE excitingly, the Huq-Brooker collaboration has extended to making babies! Can you imagine??! I suppose this child will be an expert at video-games and making Tracy Islands.

It's hard to think of appropriate captions when you think of Charlie Brooker.

Luckily this is the right time of year for baby-themed songs. I was going to make you listen to the Lion King version of When a Child is Born sung by Il Divo, but I hurled all over my keyboard, so we'll make do with this. (You clicked the link, didn't you? Idiot.)

Dylan sung by Maria Muldaur. (If you're pious, you can imagine Mary singing it in the stable.)



There’ll be a time I hear tell
When all will be well
When God and man will be reconciled
But until men lose their chains
And righteousness reigns
Lord, protect my child.

Must be... Bob Dylan!

Early morning. Must be to serve cava to a bunch of friends. I hope the party doesn't turn out like this....*

Who's got a big red cherry nose?

Hooray for Christmas! (and Advent, but I totally don't want to get in that argument).

And yes, La Maison Roaring definitely has columns too. Men with wigs, come to my party!




*I'm very sorry, but Bob in his wisdom has decided I can't embed the video. Which puts me in a bad mood. I'd better watch it again.