Dear Dominic Mohan,
I love youth and freshness.
And if I knew what it was, in a world of photoshop and make-up and very good lighting, I'd probably love Natural Beauty too.
And in a difficult financial climate, where we're all a bit depressed and wondering what it means to be British, an 'innocuous British institution' might be the thing to help us realise we're all in it together.*
So please can we start having pictures of half naked, natural, young, fresh, British men on Page 3 as well? David Beckham might be a good start, although sadly he isn't 16.
That would be delightful.
Warm wishes,
Roaring
* fresh, young, natural, British? Sounds like a locally-sourced yoghurt.
Showing posts with label Sexytime. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sexytime. Show all posts
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Wednesday, 25 January 2012
Situations have ended "sad"...
OMG my two FAVOURITE THINGS EVER:
Miley and Dylan. Do you die? I die.
Especially Miley singing freaking DYLAN with the LEAST EMOTION since James Van Der Beek pretended to be sad about Tom Cruise's wife dumping him.
Do you remember Miley doing her sexy Britney pole-dance on an ice-cream cart at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards? (OF COURSE you do.)* This is better.
I mean, she sings about some hot girl with crimson hair across her face, and it's NOT EVEN SEXY! Amazing. Miley has no idea who Rimbaud is.
But WTF does Dylan care? He thinks it's hot. I want to be like him when I'm seventy, not giving a damn about my back-catalogue, and grinding with Victoria's Secret biatches.
And he's made anyway, cause of Adele. How is anyone still buying that album? Isn't it like a law that every person in the Western world must have owned it by the end of 2011?**
Well, you can't accuse anyone of selling out if it's for charity. Good old Amnesty International. It's all worth it for the prisoners.
*It's the choreography from 'I'm a Slave 4 U', loser. How did you not know that?
**I don't, but I'm a bitch who's totally bored by the New Boring. Also I literally only buy albums (and I am probably the only person left in Britain still buying CDs) that Peter Robinson tells me to.
Miley and Dylan. Do you die? I die.
Especially Miley singing freaking DYLAN with the LEAST EMOTION since James Van Der Beek pretended to be sad about Tom Cruise's wife dumping him.
Do you remember Miley doing her sexy Britney pole-dance on an ice-cream cart at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards? (OF COURSE you do.)* This is better.
I mean, she sings about some hot girl with crimson hair across her face, and it's NOT EVEN SEXY! Amazing. Miley has no idea who Rimbaud is.
But WTF does Dylan care? He thinks it's hot. I want to be like him when I'm seventy, not giving a damn about my back-catalogue, and grinding with Victoria's Secret biatches.
And he's made anyway, cause of Adele. How is anyone still buying that album? Isn't it like a law that every person in the Western world must have owned it by the end of 2011?**
Well, you can't accuse anyone of selling out if it's for charity. Good old Amnesty International. It's all worth it for the prisoners.
*It's the choreography from 'I'm a Slave 4 U', loser. How did you not know that?
**I don't, but I'm a bitch who's totally bored by the New Boring. Also I literally only buy albums (and I am probably the only person left in Britain still buying CDs) that Peter Robinson tells me to.
Sunday, 4 December 2011
Advent Anthems: 4
I've just watched the pandas being FedExed into Scotland.
It is going to be rather snowy in their new home, according to the weather reports, but fear not! BBC Scotland correspondent Colin Blane reassured viewers: "I have been told the male panda, Yang Guang, is very fond of a roll around in the snow."
We'd like to wish Yang Guang and Tian Tian all the best in their quest for wintry sexytime. The following Advent Anthem should be inspirational to anyone trying to breed under adverse conditions:
It is going to be rather snowy in their new home, according to the weather reports, but fear not! BBC Scotland correspondent Colin Blane reassured viewers: "I have been told the male panda, Yang Guang, is very fond of a roll around in the snow."
We'd like to wish Yang Guang and Tian Tian all the best in their quest for wintry sexytime. The following Advent Anthem should be inspirational to anyone trying to breed under adverse conditions:
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