Advent Anthems: 24

Ah, every now and again Ramping takes a break from the Hipster Atheism of the Guardian and is pleasantly surprised by a little media festiveness from less ideological newspapers. Thus forthwith today he was cheered by the total dominance of Christmas in the Financial Times. A lovely piece on forgiveness of debts that even anti-captialist RQT would have approved of, and some Judtian reflections on Christmas as the levelling of differences between god (sic) and man that, while perhaps standing in an awkward relationship to their supplement "How to Spend it", might speak to those who most need a Christian thought for the day. However, most pleasing was a piece on the difference between 'Fox Christians' and secularists. Its author reminded us that 'The Financial Times is not the place to seek spiritual advice.' SHOCK! Still QED more spiritual than the Guardian whose idea of Christmas celebration is probably goodwill towards Ed Miliband (it's his birthday on Christmas Eve - 42 today!) and signed copies of Polly Toynbee's autobiography. But in conclusion the FT encouraged 'To Fox News, we urge a little humility. In the gospels, Jesus urged his followers to render unto Caesar what was Caesar's and to God what was God's. By this he meant, pay your taxes and keep religion separate from politics. We wish you Happy Holidays. To the politically correct we urge you to lighten up. We also wish you a Merry Christmas.' Ok, so s/he gets Jesus wrong. But still a little humility and a little Christmas merriment is no bad thing.

In other news there is only one possible advent anthem for Christmas eve. The song that combines hope and hopelessness, love in all its painfulness, some insults that the Guardian would print in full in scare quotes and then frown upon, social realism and solidarity. A song for all time that has only ended in disaster every time it has been covered. Your penultimate Advent anthem...

Advent Anthems: 21

"hey Charley for chrissakes do you want to know the truth of it? I don't have a husband, he don't play the trombone and I need to borrow money to pay this lawyer, and Charley, hey I'll be eligible for parole come valentines day."

I love Tom Waits. He has the voice of a man you want to listen to when you're drunk. He reminds me of the bad characters Gary Oldman played in nineties movies. I want to find someone who'll take me out dancing every saturday night. This video is a Christmas card for lost souls. It makes you want to lose control and not care any more. It makes you regret ageing and feel old. It makes you lean against a wall and wish for something else. It makes you nostalgic for something you never had. It is the happiness at the end of a bottle that never arrives. It is the feeling that people should be kinder than they are. In short, it's a little bit like Christmas.

Advent Anthems:20

Christmas is going to the dogs. It's a thought my beloved Henry would approve of and since Christmas is a hard time of year for elderly arthritic retrievers, today's anthem is dedicated to him.



It's not Henry in the video but a fellow retriever. I think Henry would approve.

Advent Anthems: 16

To remind you of the "Real Meaning (TM)" of Christmas:



Don't you wish this guy would run your Midnight Mass? Or would you rather preach a nice sermon about how Christmas is a time for all the family? Discuss.

Advent Anthems: 15

This is a special Advent Anthem dedicated to Jon Morgan. The video is a beautifully crafted telling of the nativity and its message is the very meaning of Christmas. You may not remember reading about the vampires in the Gospel account of Jesus' birth, but how much more terrifying is that? They are always there. But Love will keep them from your door. So relax and enjoy the video.

Advent Anthems: 14

It has been speculated that as Cameron boarded his private jet Merkozy was stood on the runway doing exaggerated hand gestures dressed all in white fur. Poignantly it began to snow, some of the flakes catching in its bizarre facial hair. Traces of this song could be heard above the roar of the propellers.

Perhaps the greatest Christmas song of all time, though apart from the church bells at the end (which could just as easily be wedding bells) it is more affectively than substantially Christmassy. Still as an homage to Continental drift I shall have it on repeat play all through today.

Advent Anthems:11

Christmas for me IS Phil Spector. I still associate Motown with Christmas because my mother had a double sided tape with Phil Spector's phenomenally good Christmas on one side and his Motown classics on the other. So River Deep and Mountain High, Then He Kissed Me, and Why Do Lovers Break Each Other's Hearts all take me back to childhood innocence and expectation. Still, it's kind of a nice fit.

Advent Anthems: 7

Today's Anthem has something for all the family. Jon and Cindy with their personalised stockings cut a very fine couple. And the poignant lyrics pay homage to the dangers of being too caught up in a relationship: "My baby's gone, I have no friends". The guitar seems to hum "justice" in the background. And then there is the inspired rhyming of "relations" with "salutations". All in all a work of poetry that avoids all trace of festive-cliche. A masterpiece of Christmalia and all in just over 2 minutes.



And Cindy Crawford. So hot right now. Right now and always.

Advent Anthems: 5

Assuming you watched Ms. Kelly Rowland 'putting it down' (i.e. disappointingly not singing 'Dilemma') on the X-Factor last night, and you also told all your friends you were watching Charlie Brooker's new show about pig sex on C4 because you're that sort of Guardian reader, but you actually watched Beyoncé being incredibly hot on ITV because you secretly read the Mail, you will thank me for reminding you of the glory days of Kelly, Bey and the Other One.

Well, you won't thank me, because this is literally the crassest Christmas song ever recorded. I think it's called 8 Days of Christmas because of Hanukkah (that's what Wikipedia says anyway, and I am nothing if not thorough in my research). Don't ask me, I'm not some sort of prosperity-gospel-promoting R&B star.

Though if I was, I might be responsible for "ruining Christmas" like Beyoncé. See what happens? You record a capitalism-themed Christmas song in 2000, and by 2011 you're stealing video games from Joe the Plumber. It's like a parable about the real meaning of the baby Jesus.

Anyway, "enjoy".

Advent Anthems: 2

Sometimes, you just know you've stayed up too late. And it's too late to post an Advent Anthem, but you know you have to.

Sometimes, Mariah isn't enough. It sounds ridiculous, but it's true.

Advent Anthems

Darlings.

This is our first Advent Anthem, to warm your cockles. Or whatever. It's perfect if you're very shy. Or very outgoing.
This month, we're dedicated, no matter how drunk we might be (and we may be at the pub as we speak), to delivering your Advent Anthem each day.

To begin our Advent Adventure, here is your favourite (who just released an American-friendly Thanksgiving album) and ours.

Admittedly, they strip, but it's witty, like a quip...

I was very excited to see so much female empowerment on display at the X Factor Final.

Screw the Daily Mail! Burlesque is totally ironic.

It's confusing though. I can't decide whether to be liberated by wearing no trousers, or by being as self-deprecatingly shy as Rebecca "Don't look at me" Ferguson. The two options seem to be mutually exclusive.

How to get into the final: don't be as gobby as Cher Lloyd.

Anyway, congratulations must go to Matt Cardle, who won the competition, and, it seems, a cat.

Or possibly many cats? I can't quite seem to lipread exactly what Harry from One Direction is saying to him here.




Remember Matt, no matter how famous your Christmas no.2 makes you, a pussy is for life, not just the festive season.

Must be... Bob Dylan!

Early morning. Must be to serve cava to a bunch of friends. I hope the party doesn't turn out like this....*

Who's got a big red cherry nose?

Hooray for Christmas! (and Advent, but I totally don't want to get in that argument).

And yes, La Maison Roaring definitely has columns too. Men with wigs, come to my party!




*I'm very sorry, but Bob in his wisdom has decided I can't embed the video. Which puts me in a bad mood. I'd better watch it again.

Why you should get drunk, eat as many mince pies as you can and snog someone at your office party...

I just read reallyquitetired’s post “adventageous” and the worthy sentiment of a Lenten approach to the season of goodwill. He’s right of course, Christians celebrated a good 1500 years of fasting and abstinence before our jolly pre-Christmas Christmas. And even in our judgement-averse culture RQT’s call for justice must strike some harmonic chord.